Posts Tagged ‘seasonal affective disorder’

Top 6 ways to keep the fires of lust burning red hot in your relationship this winter. #heatunderthesheets

 

I recall being an inexperienced, 21-year-old single man-boy and watching men who were married with children, complaining of being exhausted and too tired for sex. I vowed upon my stack of priceless (in terms of memories and joy) comic book cards that the day I complained of being too tired to cast my wife in my own porno epic was the day that I would cook dinner 2 nights IN A ROW. When that day came (and *I* was too tired to do the same), I found myself filled with a sense of defeat which gave way to a fleeting vision of a possible future where one ” too tired to bust a nut” night turned into many and I was pleasuring myself to mental pictures of my wife’s booty while she slept soundly. Of course she was thrilled at the vision of TWO hot meals in a row waiting for her. I was finally able to sympathize with the hard-working man that came home from a days’ work and wanted to relieve some tension and I found myself shaking my head at my 21 year old self, wishing that I could tell him what the future was like, and warn him about that one girl…

Some couples don’t get around to having sex as often as they would like for many reasons: one partner may have a different work schedule than the other, creating a situation in which one partner is chomping at the bit where the other is wrung dry like a washrag; one partner may have a higher sex drive than the other one. No matter what the reason, sometimes it sucks and not in the good way. If you happen to be a member of the sister wives clan, your sexual problems are multiplied.

Here are five ways for your partner and yourself to work around being tired and create new plateaus of pleasure anytime, no matter what your energy levels are:
1. Wash your bum: the meaning of this statement may elude many of you reading this (some of the men reading this, myself included), so I’ll give specific directions to gain the maximum level of effectiveness: Imagine yourself as your partner. You’ve had a long day, your feet are on fire and your back hurts. Your partner wants to “blow off” some steam and their “pleasure pit” smells like sautéed onions wrapped up in a 70-year-old baseball mitt. Of course, you’re totally NOT turned on.

What I’m trying to say DIRECTLY TO YOU is that you want to make it as easy as possible for your partner to get turned on. Follow the 1st commandment of tired sex: wash thine bum so thou mayest (possibly) receive some sweet lovin’.

2. Help your partner relax: while sexual desire is major component in the process of experiencing mind-blowing sex, it’s not always enough to turn your partner on. Because we are all different beings physically and spiritually, we all have different triggers that need to be pulled before we can go Beast Mode on our partners’ (insert place here…).

Your partner may need to be relaxed before they can tap into their inner panther. Rub their feet. Give them a back massage. Pour them some wine. Get their feedback on what gives them pleasure and then proceed with reckless abandon.

As a add-on to this tip, and this may have suddenly come to my attention because my wife may or may not be standing behind me as I type this: Have the house somewhat decent looking when your partner comes home so that they don’t have to expend what little sexual power they have cleaning up a mess that you and your 1-year-old son may or may not have created.

  1. Allow your partner to unload verbally and emotionally – While most men tend to retire to their man-caves to recharge their batteries (like myself), women are hard-wired express their feelings and observations about the world-at-large verbally. Literally. Research has brought to light the fact that women speak about 10,000 words A DAY more than we men. They are HARD WIRED to express themselves verbally and as such, sometimes it’s a good policy to just sit back and LISTEN. We as men have all the answers and sometimes your partner doesn’t want the answer; they just want to spew their frustrations and anger unto you.

After a good unloading session, you’ll notice that your partner is more relaxed and spirited. Now is the time to make your move!!! 3. Don’t always take the first “no” as the final answer – this is classic ” her minds telling me no, but her bodies telling me “yes, more!!” . The first “no” might simply be an automatic reaction based on how she’s feeling at the moment.

  1. Another thing to consider is the fact that sometimes our ladies turned on by our assertiveness; they just want us to take charge and “do the damn thing”. That’s one of the cool things about being a man: we are naturally hard-wired to access what I call the “Primal Male archetype”, the man who is all yang and very little-to-no yin. Thankfully, our women are hardwired to respond positively most of the time. Tap into your Primal Male archetype the next time your lady says “no” (after you’ve applied at least steps 1,2 and 3). If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again, and watch the magic happen.

 

 

  1. Be okay with NOT having sex – Even the DC universe comic book super-villain/anti-hero Deadshot missed once. There are going to be those times where it’s just not going to happen. The trick is to take pleasure in the fact that when “it” does happen, it’s going to be mind-blowing; let the anticipation of pleasure carry you blissfully through the next few days.

 

 

6. Turn off the television on turn on your spirit. With so many cyber Monday TV deals abound, it’s easy to get lost in TV land and forget about reality. However, you must resist the temptation to do so and focus on your lover. Look at your lover as if you were seeing them for the first time all over again. You may be surprised at what you re-discover:)

Armed with this knowledge, use it wisely and make that bedroom that you’ve been too tired to clean up for the last month even messier with some red-hot lovin’.

 

Peace and Love,

Amir

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